this post has all the details, so it may gross some out…don’t read if you don’t want to know what birth is REALLY like…
i was 39 weeks and 4 days pregnant and feeling rather uncomfortable. one of my good friends recommended i go to a chiropractor to get my pelvis realigned and some acupuncture to try to naturally induce labor. i was kind of skeptical but i figured what the heck. i made the appointment for that day, it was a tuesday. the appointment was quick and painless. when she did acupuncture i didn’t feel him kicking around like she said i might, so i thought well at least i tried. i went home after work without going to the gym because i wanted to just relax and take it easy…thank god i did.
we made dinner, i had a glass of wine and went to bed like any normal night around 9:45. i suddenly woke up at about 11 and thought i was peeing my pants. i shot up out of bed running (waddling with my legs closed) to the bathroom. i thought to myself…have i really lost all control of my body that i would just pee the bed?…this is sad! brian called out from the bedroom “what the heck is going on?” i told him “i think i peed my pants!” i sat on the toilet looking at the wet floor thinking, there is no way this is pee…this has to be my water breaking. that’s when i saw my mucus plug. yes, it’s gross…and it looks just the way it sounds. i called out to brian “i think my water broke! and i lost my mucus plug!” he was quiet…”so what does that mean? are you in labor?” “yup”, i said, i think this is it.
my contractions started about 5-10 minutes after my water broke. they were not crazy intense, but enough for me to stop and concentrate. brian was kind of in a panic state, packing his bag and trying to get dressed. we held off calling our doula and my mom for about an hour. my mom happened to take a little trip to kansas city, which is about 3 hours away thinking there was no way i would go into labor that night. around midnight we decided to call our doula and my mom, telling them our situation. i told my mom to hang tight and i would call her when i thought she needed to leave. i had no idea how long this would take…i have never done this before! kelly, our doula, told me to take a bath, relax and try to get some sleep. getting in the bath felt great! my contractions were coming every 8 minutes or so. i got out of the tub and made my way to the bed. we “tried” to relax and i “tried” to get sleep…but i just couldn’t do it. i lasted maybe 1 hour in bed before i gave up and said i needed to get back in that glorious tub. things started getting more intense, the contractions started to get more painful and closer together (5-7 minutes apart) and i started to get more and more hostile toward brian. it was 3am and it was time to call kelly. i needed backup stat!
kelly got there around 3:45 and i think brian and i were both really thankful that someone with some experience could help us out. i also called my mom and said i think you should start heading toward omaha. kelly had me walking around the house, kneeling, walking, then kneeing again, basically trying anything that would help me feel comfortable and to get my contractions to stay consistent. every time i changed positions i would get a contraction. also, with every contraction more amniotic fluid would gush out. i constantly felt like i was peeing my pants.
by 6am we got back in the tub and things started to get more consistent and intense. we had called the doctor earlier in the night to let her know that my water broke, and she said that she wants to see me in the hospital by 5 or 7am to get my antibiotics for group b strep. brian got a call when we were in the tub from our doctor wondering where we were. brian started getting worried that we breaking some rules :). my contractions were coming very steady even with me being in the water. they were painful, intense, and took all my concentration to get through them. kelly had me take deep breaths in, then hold my head back and blow. she told me to focus on blowing the pain out. this actually really helped. kelly and brian both agreed that it was time to go to the hospital.
i remember thinking to myself “man, i wish i looked a little cuter going to the hospital” haha. i had a nightgown on with tennis shoes and a coat, my hair was in a wet bun on top of my head, and i was red faced with no makeup…beautiful! i wasn’t looking forward to car ride, but kelly helped ease my mind by sitting in the back seat with me, holding my hand and telling me i would only have 7 contractions on the way there. i was in good spirits on the way there. we were talking about how brian and i met, and kind of “trying” to enjoy the last moments as just the two of us as a couple between contractions. i joked that we would get to the hospital and i would only be 2-3 cm…
we arrived at the hospital at 6:55am. when they checked me at 7:15 am i was 2-3 cm, 100% effaced and -1 station. i remember thinking to myself…don’t get upset, there is nothing you can do about it but try to stay focused and stay in good spirits. i AM going to have this baby today, i thought. i went into the tub at 7:30am. we had music (which in hindsight, i didn’t really even pay attention to) the lights dimmed, and battery powered candles in the bathroom to help keep me relaxed. my mom arrived and my support team formed. things started to get pretty intense pretty quickly. i needed to make noise, as deep breaths no longer cut it. i was making moaning noises and kelly redirected me to make a low “oooo” noise. this helped immensely. i had to focus on staying in a low tone and it was a note that i could hold for a long time. my team would “oooo” with me, and we sounded like a group of monks. kelly had the nurse check me while i was in the tub, which i was so thankful for because i didn’t want to have to get out of the tub. every time you move or change positions you have a contraction…so you just want to stay put haha. the nurse checked me at 8:15, so an hour later, and i was 5 cm. i kind of knew deep in my mind that this was going to go fast, so i better hold it together.
by 8:45 with each contraction i started to have the urge to push. at the peak of my contraction my body would just convulse. they all told me to stop this urge, to breathe through it. i think the nurse as well as kelly had the same thought as me, that this was going to happen quickly. i got out of the tub and sat on the toilet…don’t ask me why, but this just felt good. i think most women would say the same. by 9am i got on the hospital bed and the nurse checked me again and i was 7-8 cm. kelly assured me that i was doing great; i was pulling my chin up and breathing through the urge to push. they called my doctor who was working at the clinic and told her my status. she told them to call her when i was 9 cm.
the urges to push became more and more intense. i can only describe it like trying to stop mid throw up…your body has the serious urge to tense up and tighten. they checked me again at 9:20 and i was 8 1/2 cm. this was the only point during the labor that panic set in. i thought to myself, i don’t know if i can continue to hold off on this really intense pushing urge. brian, kelly and my mom were what got me through this. they stayed so calm, and helped me refocus on having this baby and staying in control. they assured me that i could do it. 30 minutes later, at 9:50 i was complete! they called the doctor and told her to book it! she gave the go ahead to let me give a “test” push.
i was finally ready to have this baby! i was so ready to push…thank god i could finally stop fighting this urge! so i did the test push and the nurse said “ok…no no no, you are going to have to stop.” the baby’s head was crowning and he was going to show up before the doctor got there if i didn’t stop. they told me to reach down and touch my baby’s head, that he had hair! it was the weirdest feeling. i imagined it would feel like a skull, but it felt like brains! “that’s his head?!” i said. because of the skin scrunching to fit through and his skull overlapping to fit through, it didn’t feel like a hard baby head at all.
the 15 minutes that it took my doctor to get there felt like a lifetime. my support team helped me through every second and every contraction. i finally heard my doctor scurry through the door and get prepped for delivering this baby. i was so thankful that she was finally there because i was so ready to push this baby out! he was going to be in my arms in no time! 3 hours at the hospital, and 8 cm later, i was ready to meet my baby. it took me three pushes to get him out. two for his head and one for his body. the pushing hurt, but i wanted him out so badly that i didn’t really focus on the pain, i just thought the harder i push the faster this will be done.
bastian oliver was born at 10:17am on wednesday, april 24th, 2013. seeing him for the first time was like nothing i have ever experienced. he was plump and purple. he screamed right away and was placed on my chest. i remember thinking, this is him! this is my baby! i am finally getting to meet him face to face. i was instantly in love. he cried and screamed and was not too happy about being out of his cozy home, but his mama and dada were. i looked at brian with total excitement, amazement, and relief that it was over and i was finally holding our son in my arms.
we nursed and goo-gooed over him for about 15 minutes until they took him across the room to check and weigh him. he was 7 lbs. 11 oz. and 20 inches long. i was so surprised that he wasn’t bigger! i laid in bed getting stitched up (yes i tore, but all in all it wasn’t that bad and recovery hasn’t been bad at all) just admiring my sweet baby boy across the room. i wanted him back in my arms so badly and never wanted to let him go.
giving birth to bastian oliver was the hardest thing i have ever done in my life. each day that goes by, i forget about the pain more and more, and remember the excitement and empowerment i felt. i am so proud of myself that i went through with my plan and i was able to achieve something amazing for my son. i couldn’t have done it without the amazing help of my doula kelly, my mom, my husband, the nurse in the labor room, and our doctor. they kept reminding me that i was strong and in control. bastian is the most precious thing i have ever laid my eyes on. i love him so much and i am so amazed that brian and i created him. every minute of pain and intensity was worth it. i love you baby bastian.