dealing with a post-pregnancy body

so i may be crazy, but for some reason i thought i would fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes soon after i had bastian. i know it doesn’t seem logical at all…but i kind of thought i could at least squeeze those summer shorts on, or button up that blouse. i didn’t gain that much weight with my pregnancy and i stayed really active and fit, so why wouldn’t i snap back into shape, right? well i sure don’t feel like there is any snapping or shape going on here.

my hips haven’t gone back down to size, my stomach still has a hard time staying in, and my chest is too large to fit into any of my old clothes. when i was pregnant i had to get over the fact that my body wasn’t really mine anymore. my baby needed me to eat healthy food, not drink, limit caffeine and of course gain weight…as most pregnant women do. i did it all with a smile on my face because i knew it was all worth it. once i had bastian i thought, “finally! i get my body back! i get to eat and drink whatever i want!” well…once again my body is not mine. i am still providing nourishment for my baby from breastfeeding. bastian is lactose intolerant, so i can’t have any dairy, which is hard when cheese is a staple in your diet. i have to limit what i drink, and you know what, sometimes i just want to get drunk! or never mind the fact that when you are up all night and really tired, all you want to do is guzzle down 20 cups of insanely strong coffee, yet can’t because you have to limit your caffeine. again, it’s all worth it because i am giving my little guy the best nourishment he could get, and i do love doing it. realizing again that my body has a bigger purpose than just looking “fit” or making me feel good, is something that i am slowly getting used to.

i have also found that i don’t care as much about the way i look now. i am not sure if it’s because i just don’t have the same amount of time to get ready as i did before, or if it’s because bastian puts everything into perspective for me. i am sure that soon i will want to feel good about the way i look again, but right now, i feel pretty good about what i am doing. i have started to go back to the gym (veeeerrrrry slooooowly) but finding time or fitting it into bastian’s schedule is harder than i thought. i know i will get back into a good work out routine someday soon; one where i won’t feel guilty about leaving my sweet little guy. i am not being lazy, i am taking care of a baby!

why are we as women, so hard on ourselves when it comes to our bodies? we put our bodies through a lot! way more than any man ever does, yet we expect ourselves to be perfect. i don’t even think men have the harsh expectations about our bodies as women do. so with all that said, i have to remind myself that it took 9 months to gain this weight, so it won’t just disappear like magic (despite what everyone says about breastfeeding being the super magic weight loss method, i have found that i am waaaay more hungry, and have to eat in order to keep my supply up).

overall, i have realized that bastian NEEDS me to eat enough calories, he needs me to be home with him and most importantly he needs me to be happy. in the end we would all love to look like this right away…but come on…who really looks like that before babies?

month by month: two months

bastian was two months old yesterday…i am late on my post! here are some of the things that i love about you little baby bastian: – the fake squeaky cries you do while you sleep

– stretching out in the morning when i unswaddle you
– smiling when someone smiles at you – the pure enjoyment on your face durning bath time
– then the screams you make when i take you out of the bath
– those legs moving and kicking like you are swimming the Nile
– all the noises you make constantly, mostly squeaks
– you are sleeping much better these days, going for a 6 hour stretch at night
– you went swimming for the first time and loved it. the water was kind of cold and you didn’t even flinch
– you had your two month check up and the doctor said you were small but mighty!
– you hold your head up so strong for tummy time but you still hate it

he is just changing every day and i can’t get enough of his sweetness! here’s to another month!

look a like

so when you have a baby, you stare at them every single day for hours and hours at a time. brian and i are trying to figure out who bastian looks like. i think he is kind of a mixture of both of us, but mostly looks like brian. all i know is that he is so stinkin’ cute, i can’t take it. he makes me melt every time i look at him. he going to have me wrapped around his little finger. yikes!

life lately

life lately has been pretty great! i feel like i am finally getting the hang of this phase of bastian’s life…and soon he will move into a new phase that i will have to learn all about. he is just such a doll. brian and i had our first date night. i was so nervous to leave, but we knew he was in good hands with grandma ann. he cried pretty much the whole time…grandma ann says she even likes his cries, so she doesn’t mind…oh grandmas 🙂
so bastian has also been so much happier these days now that I have cut dairy out of my diet. i think it could be a combination of that and having a more mature stomach. he is just not as fussy and doesn’t have as much gas.
bastian also had his first play date. he slept most of the time so he wasn’t much fun for baby will. will’s mom jacque introduced me to the rock’n play sleeper. this has been a life saver!! bastian sleeps in it at night and even takes naps in it! he slept til 4:30 last night! this thing is seriously a miracle rocker, i highly recommend it.
fathers day is this weekend and i have to think of something fun and special to do with brian. does anyone have any fun plans to do with the dads in their lives?

bedtime routine…

so I have heard it’s about time to start implementing a bedtime routine. well bastian is a fan if his bath but not a fan of night. he pretty much likes to scream between his two evening feedings. so it makes it hard to have a nice “fun” routine. i have a rough routine that we are still working through. the thing is i almost have to draw it out to be 1.5 hours long, because again, he just wants to scream at night in between feedings. so we go up to his room (he loves just laying on the floor looking at all the psychedelic stuff haha) and i read him a couple books. he doesn’t even really look at the book…he would rather stare at the built-in drawers because they are sooo interesting (?). then i get his bath ready. i have now learned to just let him chill in his puj tub while i pour water over him (treated like a little king huh?). he stays calm and looks so cute relaxing. when i take him out we put lotion on and then pjs and his swaddle blanket (although he was calm in the photo above, he usually isn’t too happy). he eats and i let him take too long probably…but he will be easier to out to bed. then we get in bed. yes, in bed together because that’s what works for us. i remember before becoming a mom, i always told myself “never!” to co-sleeping. well, when you are faced with no sleeping or snuggling with your newborn at night…I take the snuggles. some people have strong views one way or the other but i don’t really care what he or she says. we do what works for us.
it’s funny because i have learned to stop googling things because you will get experts fighting for all sides. i laugh when i read about sleep tactics online. like do you want to come over to my house and try to keep my baby up two hours before bed every night? or do you want to try to get him back to sleep in his bassinet at 4 am? didn’t think so. well anyways i hope that someday bedtime will be kind of “fun” or at least everything leading up to bedtime.
does anyone have awesome bedtime routines that make their little one a sleeping angel?

diy painted onesie

i bought a couple onesie a while back with hopes to make them into something fun and personal for baby bastian. i finally got around to doing this project with him strapped to my chest (someone likes to be by mama all the time). so needless to say, if i can do this with a newborn strapped to me, it is easy and fast.

first, gather all your supplies: onesie, paint (i used just craft paint), brushes and chalk. then i decided what i wanted to paint, i jus searched for some illustrations that i liked on google and tried to mimic them. i chose one cat inspired onsie and a cloud inspired onsie similar to a pillow he has in his room. then i took the chalk and outlined where and how big the drawing would be. then i started painting. with darker fabric you will most likely have to use a few coats to get the color to be vibrant. wait til it’s dry and then have them model them!

i washed the onsie first, so that any shrinking would happen before the design was painted on. i haven’t washed them yet with the paint, so hopefully it will not crack and peel. hope you like! i am sure he will grow out of these in matter of days (already looks too small) so i will have to get going on some bigger ones.

being busy

so sorry for being MIA from the blog…this little guy has taken all of my time. i can’t seem to find any time to do anything. being a mom is the most challenging thing I have ever done. there is nothing you can read, hear, study or buy that will prepare you for the roller coaster of parenting. sometimes I feel like “wow, i am finally getting the hang of this!” then “what the hell do i now!?!” comes and slaps me right in the face. so i am learning (forcing myself) to just roll with the punches.
i don’t want to sound like things aren’t going well, cause they are but i want to be real too. it’s not all snuggles and butterfly kisses…it’s a whole new way of thinking, acting and feeling. each stage of bastian’s life will require changes and adjustments. he is our world now and we can’t wait for the future but i also want to remember all these moments of his infancy. i hear it goes fast and no matter how challenging it can be, you’ll want to go back to that tiny little baby snuggling in your arms. so i don’t want to take it for granted. Oh little bastian, as difficult as you make it sometimes you make my heart melt when you stare into my eyes, smile or grasp my finger when you eat. i could stare at you all day…and night because you love night time 🙂 moms out there, hats off to you, because you deserve it!
ps i have a DIY that I am trying to finish to share…but again that thing called time, or should I say time with both hands free.